The Truth About Depression

Depression can be debilitating.  I refer to it as the abyss. My depressive episodes can last for months. Depression impacts memory and creates a fog.  Through intense therapy and medication it happens less frequently. Our society is open to illnesses that are physical, but can be very cruel about mental health issues.  The stigma needs to change.  It hurts to be afraid to ask for help, because a person doesn’t want to be labeled.
During the roughest days of my depression I spent weeks and months in bed. I had multiple suicide attempts. My family and husband at the time didn’t understand. They treated me like a burden. It was apparent that I would need to pull myself out of the abyss. I made an appointment and two days later a trauma team was assembled. I’ve learned to function beyond my depression and cognitive behavior therapy helped a great deal. There are still occasions that I struggle and I practice self-care on those days.  It is important to not view yourself as broken. Be gentle with yourself.

Raising My Inner Child

She knew that something in her was changing and as much as she wanted that her life would never be the same. She had seen too much of the ugliness in the world and in herself. When your attention is brought to something about our self: it is the soul calling for change. Her mission became going back to the childhood that all but destroyed her and rescue her inner child. No brave knight was coming to save her. She was the only one that could do the saving. It meant for giving herself for neglecting the internal voice that had been calling her name for years. It would take immense courage to find herself frozen in time on many days.
Life had been happening to her for far too long. All of the parts of her that had been discarded had to be reclaimed. Type A personalities are about achievement versus depth. She had only cared about winning throughout life. She saw no prize coming from this fight until she realized that she was the prize. The free spirited soul could no longer suffocate in the prison of her own mind. So she opened the cage and released it. Before she realized it she was fighting for herself with the same force that she had fought for those she loved. Could it be that she was starting to love herself? That is exactly what was happening ! The scared little girl was getting to grow up again and this time she brought the warrior that she had found hidden in the dark corners of her soul .

The Courage Of Your Story

It took guts to heal publicly. I knew when this journey started that I would become someone else. The only logical thing to do was share it with anyone that wanted to read my journey. It was at the start of my healing journey that the courage of others helped me see that I would make it also. Reading their stories reminded me of my own courage and how to tap into my inner strength. This blog is my story. The story of how one woman found all the pieces and put them back together to find who she is on the other side of healing. The journey has not been easy at times. More days than I can count were spent on my knees begging for it to be over, but each time I found a little more strength.

We heal for ourselves. We share our journey for ourselves. Each person that takes the healing journey goes through a transformation. They do not come out the other side the same. Most that I speak with find they are lighter and feel a new freedom. Healing is contagious; we see that freedom and crave it for our own soul. If you are struggling, remember the bravest thing we can do is claim our own story. You have the strength to put the pieces back together.